On Friday I went to St. Margareth Island to an evening performance with Pertile the Italian singer. A ballet followed. It was Irene who produced the tickets, she rang me up in the morning. We were still in the most awful mess as the painter has not finished, but I didn’t mind and made her sit down…

This morning I heared both from Margareth and Dr. Laki; I don’t know what am I coming to but I had quite a queer sort of feeling when I saw his letter. It is the silliest of things to let myself go like this when most probably I mean nothing at all to him. Why should I we hardly knew each other,…

I didn’t send that letter away yet, I mean, I didn’t post it so far. Wonder if it doesn’t trouble for me again. If so better to stop it early. Or rather ? it in the bud. I suppose I am going to post it after all am not leaving the outcome of my effort wasted, but promptly forget all about it and…

The shock I meant to mention was this. Dr Laki (?) asked me if I know the latest at which I suggested the little *Maris* (?) then he told we must part. I had the sinking feeling that he was going to get married. What a mad idea to think of that at all an to be disappointed about it. I was ashamed of…

What a lot I thought about a problem of congratulating dear exfriend Leon on his birthday or not. Really it is not worth wile making a problem of anything. This week passed, to day also and as I already resolved I made not the slightest move towards doing anything of the sort. It is horrid of me I…

This morning Vin was here to see Mother. These meetings upset me. I think I’ll have to do something definite. A most disagreeable thing happened, I rang up Leon, again he said he was too busy and would I rang him up next week, so I just rang off. Thought all over in a minute, thinking this couldn’t…

Really Providence is managing things for me. Always when I’m hurt there comes something to help me over. Kind hand of God may be felt always. I get a good, though much deserved blow from the side, then comes a caring from the other. To day it came in the form of an invitation to theatre from…

An awful rush to day, had an unexpected order which nearly made my visit to the Clinic impossible. Don’t know if it wouldn’t have been better. Anyway I know if I wouldn’t go that day I wouldn’t go at all, so in the end, very late I took a car and rushed there. Now was it worth? No. First of all I…

What a day. In the morning Leon rang me up and we made an appointment for the evening. Early in the afternoon he rang me up again at least one of the staff in his office did the actual ringing, seems in such cases he is not so shy of phoning, and told me in highly shocked way that he couldn’t come…

Still can’t get over after effects of shock of previous day. Can’t say I had a sleepless night but certainly found soliloquy at 3 a.m. most uncomfortable. But as I’m alone to blame, and nothing happens by chance, and if it is, and as it is the will of God it must be for the best and it is for the…