This morning I heared both from Margareth and Dr. Laki; I don’t know what am I coming to but I had quite a queer sort of feeling when I saw his letter. It is the silliest of things to let myself go like this when most probably I mean nothing at all to him. Why should I we hardly knew each other, most only a couple of times for a few minutes. And anyway he must be quite used to the sheep’s eyes hysterical women patients cast at him. I’m sure I don’t mean to be one of those. Don’t know really what on earth do I want of him. If I come to think of it everything is so hopeless in connection with the man. If I count on myself only. Anyway I do my part and leave the rest to Providence. Was driving today again. Had a long talk with Marietta this evening. Mr Hauer + she are going to Füred as dear Michael didn’t write. Nasty little chap. No, poor little dear. I hope it doesn’t mean he isn’t fit. – Bother all these men. I do wish I had one of my very own so as not to bother about the rest. Although I don’t know which is the more comfortable. To worry about many or about a simple one only. In latter case it might be a bit monotonous.