Last week was nothing exceptional generally, from personal point of view rather a washout. On Monday morning I found out Leon meant to make an appointment previous day. He should have tried harder. Still felt a bit shaky so stayed at home. Leo went to the cinema. He promised to ring me up but…

Still feel shaky. Went to gymn though as I promised to. There was quite a number of us to my greatest surprise. Thought to meet Leon afterwards. As he wasn’t there and I didn’t want to go on the usual roundabout way I rang him up, finding him there just rang off. Of course he recognized my voice.…

It was pouring yesterday and we didn’t meet with Leon though we thought to do so. When I spoke with him at night however I had to find out that he wasn’t out either. I won’t do such mad things ever for anyone again. Tonight’s meeting was slightly different from what we planned at least he. I rang…

Was awfully hard to decide. I resolved not to give in any more but I’m afraid I wouldn’t have been so strong if it would have actually come to tell him so. Fortunately I was preserved from that. It wasn’t too early when I rang him up and the line was occupied. Later my call wasn’t answered. Same…

Today’s gymn a wash out. It was raining hard, met a man on the bus going to the Association for Foreign Affairs. He seemed to know me. If I wouldn’t have known I met him there I might have been thinking as hard as anything without finding out same. We finished earlier than usually. It was pouring…

 Things seem to get every more serious. If I would be a man I would have to report at once it seems for military service. I wish I would be a man. Vin’s influence seem to have lasted in such degree, that although I meant to ring up Leon after office hours when he phoned me earlier I didn’t recognize…

There was quite a lot to do all day. I went to the gymn classes in the evening. The place where R. Margit moved to is rather far near my old school. It is rather ? Emmy fell over my neck. I was welcomed most warmly. At last a place where I’m appreciated. I heared all sorts of rumours which make me…

Tried to speak with Leon again this morning but wasn’t answered fortunately. For not much later Father was called by the firm over which we had our latest disagreement. I don’t know any longer who is right, for this time I heared quite another talk. In the afternoon I was out on business. Partly…

Today I feel all broken and depressed. Of course it is partly yesterdays late night and the gymn beforehand besides Martha’s wishes. – Phoned Vin. too. He will be off for his holiday next week. In this too I feel at loss. For every nights is he booked but he “might be free” on Friday when we might…

Got up at an unearthly hour this morning (5.40) and went to mass + holy communion (Sacred Heart). Went to gymn. in the evening. I was a bit stiff and out of practice, but not too much. I don’t think the two hours are worth the sum I payed, though. It was a surprise – Martha phoned in the evening.…