Things seem to get every more serious. If I would be a man I would have to report at once it seems for military service. I wish I would be a man. Vin’s influence seem to have lasted in such degree, that although I meant to ring up Leon after office hours when he phoned me earlier I didn’t recognize his voice and now he was entirely indifferent which he must have felt. Serves him right. He was to meet me after gymn. In the afternoon I rang up Vin. again on account of Mother. Now at last I found out all I wanted to know at least some if not all. He is eight months my junior which isn’t as bad as I thought a year more and he is not paid at the Clinics which means he is is not amongst those who are fall of military service. He takes the affair rather seriously, I wish I were a man. Tried to hear the ?, he promised to let me know if he is to leave and further too. – There was only the three of us at gymn, so it was rather nice. Afterwards I nearly missed Leon for he must have been a minute or so late, because not seeing him about I went on, but later somehow looked back and saw him hurrying after me. Ridiculous but again would have served him right to just miss me like it happened to me. The influence of the other still lasting and his being indifferent I could speak to him about things I usually can’t brace myself up to mentioning. Religious and moral questions. He wants to celebrate my birthday in his own way, which is mad. Slightly. Of course I should be happy and appreciate it that someone thinks It an important enough date. But there is a flow (??) in it. I don’t know how will I manage.