Today I feel all broken and depressed. Of course it is partly yesterdays late night and the gymn beforehand besides Martha’s wishes. – Phoned Vin. too. He will be off for his holiday next week. In this too I feel at loss. For every nights is he booked but he “might be free” on Friday when we might manage an farewell party if he wasn’t be already away. Really very kind. Should I have meant anything to him he would have found time to see me more often. If only I knew. But I don’t want to spoil everything with a drastic break as long as I’m not pretty sure of his feelings + interests.