Common communion for the women this morning. Meeting at 11.30. The President Count Teleky spoke too. What he said was very good but he isn’t much of an orator. Rather sounds like giving a lecture. I like the dear man however. Saw S. Pohl too, but couldn’t find him at the end. By the way we talked to canon Czapik yesterday, he was a darling. Saw old ? too, Dr Laki’s reaction of some sort. Went to him in the afternoon, late as usual, and mentioned this. He wasn’t enchanted. How tactless of me, I thought so soon as I saw this, to see all in his mind all his sins. Again he gave me an injection. – At night went to the reunion of ladies at the Heroes Place. It was lovely and very dignified and uplifting I’m so glad I went. The place was completely full. I had a place behind the altar and the empty rows were filled in a few minutes after me. It ended rather late was at home by 10.30 pm only to my greatest surprise. As happy as ever.

Catholic congress started with Mass for the youth. Was there foo sat in front. It was interesting to watch people going about, going to confession in the open, the scouts talking about kids who got faint. On of them took a little boy literally in his arms. it was such nice feeling to look on. Went to have breakfast at Marietta’s and went to the 1^st meeting afterwards. We had to take a taxi as it was so late. The canon Michalovics was one of the speakers. What made most impression on me was his saying we must make faith and than deepen this. The arch bishop opened the meeting. Huszár an old minister spoke too. Good.

Alone at gymn to night. It was rather good though. Was at Marietta’s yesterday to fetch tickets. The dear boy getting on about the same. They are afraid of trombose now on account of his less ? at night. Hope it is false alarm.

A lecture in the Külügyi on Friday. Rather good and short. Was late again. Went to Marietta’s yesterday night. Michael better it seems, though still in bed, but they are starting the massaging, so it means a step towards improvement. I’m glad. I do wonder if the poor boy will be fit for my plans and when. It means patience all the time a rather weak streak in my character. I really despire myself sometimes for how little all these men mean to me in spite of the very important part I sometimes wish to give them. I don’t know what to do better leave it all to Providence or else I’ll get mixed into some silly affair again. Though I do mean to take care of myself now that I’m turned over that new leafe (life?). Only sometimes I do feel as a bit down and in low spirits though it may be due to biological falls only. It is a compensation or explanation? but it should help bearing it a lot. – Was at Marietta’s this evening too to watch the Procession of the Besnyő Men Pilgrimage pass. Quite a lot took part, but we couldn’s see our F. Omer. which might mean hi is ill again, especially as only yesterday he complained of pains. He was the Hauers to see Mike but couldn’t wait long enough for him to get ready and Marietta was out. – Was in the cemetery and cinema previously. Weather is quite cool and rainy.

On Monday my new short coat was delivered but turned out to be a bit tight at the neck so I returned it two days later. Was at the Dr’s in the afternoon later as usual. We had a little chat and he didn’t dare to give an injection prescribed a medicine instead. Ha offered to show me his car and to take me to one of his visits when a someone came so he asked me to slip back to the visiting room which I did. The new visit turned out to be his brother in law. So the three of us went together. What a queer discontented creature his bro. in law is. I was so surprised to hear his cynical talk that I forgot to tell my opinion on a few, to me, sacred questions. Laki (?) came however by that still I’m ashamed of myself. Went to the Egyetemi the University Church to give a last farewell to our departed bishop to whom I owe a great deal too, Dr Tihamer Toth. Later I went to see Cica. Met Marcsi too couldn’t evade going in as her husband was at the entrance. On Tuesday I went to the Hauers, dear Michael seems to be better. Didn’t stay long. By the way asked Dr Laki (?) the previous day about this pneumatic heartweakness business and he said the same as their Dr so it seems it is all true. – Gymn quite alright yesterday there was only the four of us. My back is much better, though not completely well yet. Am going to the Kamara theatre to day (Utolsó tánc). I’m looking forward to it. – It is exactly a week ago I finished or rather completed my conf. It is a wonderful feeling to know that everything is forgiven and washed out etc. Not completely made up for though but it is not the most important. I feel as light as a feather but I hope not the slightest breeze will move me. Daren’t think what would have become of me if I would have died before this all might have had a surprise. Still as I wasn’t exactly aware of the wrong points in spite of having sort of a feeling at times and as I read had good resolutions all along perhaps it wouldn’t have been so bad. Now I understand though what the old Priest who taught us at school meant by saying that “the way to hell is paved by good resolutions”. He must have meant those not lived up to. And it is all true. I’m the happiest person on earth now that I’m over this life conf. affair. It was the best that can have happened to me. – The piece in the Kamara Theatre was quite good. Very amusing and well performed. There was perhaps too much of mimic which made the whole somewhat film-like.

Ought have gone to buy tickets for the Euch. Cong. next week with Marietta on Friday but ‘phoned it off instead as Father had to go out with brother. As it was her elder bro. whom I asked to tell her am not sure if she actually told. Must find out. – On Saturday went to see the Int. Fair. Met a man at the very beginning with the result that however hard I thought I couldn’t quite remember who on earth he was and where on earth I met him. I knew him that was certain. He most kindly told all about the Fair, which, however was rather worse than usually. Still I bought a few trifles. Ought have gone to Dr Laki’s (?) in the afternoon, but ‘phoned it off instead. Spoke with the young lady who is, I believe, his secretary. I don’t know how it is somehow I feel some sort of an antagonism towards that man, which isn’t exactly dislike. Am not drawn to him it is much rather repulsion. Perhaps that would be with any man now or sort of a reaction after last year. Had to do a lot in town in the afternoon. To day was a rather harassed one. In the morning was so late for mass so had to stay for the next one and so all the morning passed. After lunch went to the Fair again as had a free ticket. Bought a few little things. Later went to the Pálffy’s being their name day. Nearly only ladies were present. Gizi getting bigger all the time it seems. Met Laci’s little fiancée too was rather disappointed. When asked later who was prettier, she or Ernő’s fiancéle or rather wife by now had to answer at once latter. Though I think there is much more sense (?) in the former’s features, little Sári will be the more valuable one as an individual and it will show on her face too. Just now she was rather sad and bittless on account of her great sorrow, but I can quite imagine her as a lively little thing when happy. On the whole I think they are well suited to each other. Laci came later on as this as ever. Miki came too, he looks alright. The two of us always gets on very well pity he is so much younger, or rather it is good luck as at least our relationship or friendship will always be something completely unselfish. I like the boy. Bözsi was there too with husband their kid is rather sweet a plump little boy, another married friend of Gizi’s too with husband and another girl with her mother. The usual people. Gyula was there too and we left together rather late. On the whole it quite interesting.

We went to the Ptia (?) this morning with Father, which I thought quite unnecessary and made me nervous. – Went to Father Omer. later on and told him all about the left ones and other doubts on that account. I believe I’m quite alright now at last, but really I’m completely at loss when I look at the picture I have of myself. Really terrible. All is out now however and I’m to turn over a new leaf which I mean to do. No flirtations in future for me anyway I know now they have no value whatever and the after effects, the consequent feelings etc. are only the worse for them. So they’re blown to the winds. Was at Marietta’s in the evening. Apparently dear Michael is better though is still to stay in bed for three weeks. All sorts of misfortunes happened to them yesterday it seems, the anti geyser blew up terrifying the maid out of her wits and shocking the invalid the nurse + her too. The old family Dr., Stitzel (?) was there too and blurted out the great secret that 3 more weeks in bed are needed etc. To my opinion though it is much better to tell the exact truth especially in such case, when it is a matter of patience only. Or so it seems. By the way was at Dr. Laki’s (?) beforehand, again he gave a hateful injection, which gave me a nasty feeling this time and I got a bit weak. He made me walk at first then made me lie down for a moment. I was a bit shocked and took the wrong turning when leaving to the enormous amusement of his housekeeper who unexpectedly opened the door for me. What more I passed the door I ought to have get in at the Parliement House, where I went to a lecture on the Hungarians in Roumania. As I was three quarters of an hour late my appearance gave a slight shock to all and many of the men looked reproachfully at the clock. I wouldn’t have dared to give way to such insolence anyway if I wouldn’t have known the habit by that nice young man (Pusztai-Popovics) who gave the lecture. He simply can’t stop, goes on an on and the end is usually the most interesting part. As I expected the lecture was a long one even longer than I expected it to be, was finished at 7.45. A nice time. There weren’t many present. But it was an amazing day. First that uncomfortable business of going to the Bank than that daring conf. business, than a lot to do at home, than a rushed dressing, than a late visit to the Dr. where naturally when in a hurry one has to wait than that daring injection, a long lecture, than Marietta’s visit.

On Monday had a long talk with Martha on the ‘phone result of which was an outing, Atrium, ? is a crowd. The piece is rather funny but slightly mixed. Mr Dudus (?) on the bus when coming home. –

On Tuesday went to the National Theatre (Tündöklő Jeromos). The piece a rather modern one, was much better than I expected it to be and very amusing too. Was at Dr. Laki’s (?) beforehand, late like usually. After a talk with one of his colleagues on the phone he proposed injections in spite of my fervent and gave one at once. Hated it. We had a little talk on cars etc. – Today, meant to go to the Father Omer. for conf. again to wash out the remains of last week’s conf. but is was a bit late. Besides on my way met the car of dear exfriend Leon. It was quite funny, he just took a big turn and I recognized the car at once. Naturally looked for the driver, but it was he in person who was driving halfway out of the window. It gave me quite a shock, we were quite close and I think the driver sitting beside him noticed me too. I don’t know if he did, perhaps not. Anyway we both went on our way. Strangely enough this meeting gave me quite a shock but it passed later. Didn’t allow myself to stop at romantic things anyway his last little talks rushed into my mind at once. I know now never cared. – Gymn was quite good fun to night.

Martha + kids here, former went to see the Fair. Kids quite alright. They forgot the highly valued Teddy Bear in kid’s ? and the latest toys, so there must have been an upheaval at bed time. Am going to take them back tomorrow. Went to the cinema in the evening (Vadrózsa) the piece was not too bad only the “heroes” I mean the actors weren’t exactly to my taste.

Had all sorts of misgivings as to the validity of las conf. but think it is just over scrupulousness, will mention all however next time which must be soon. Am terrible shocked to find more and more in my past which should have been told. Awful how one forgets the nastiest little and great sins, not to speak of circumstances. I’m really terrified at myself am beginning to understand what I read the other day of someone saying. I know the ? of a honest man only but it is terrible. Pride and good opinion high value etc. have sunken to the lowest. Hope all this experience will be remembered at the right time. Am starting and startled to see real value of things. – Gymn quite nice to day. Last Saturday one, Marcsi is to be away so will be the only good worker. Went to look in at the Hauers, took a little “patience” toy to poor Michael who seems to need patience. Spoke with the elder bro. too but only a little. Heared that the Father was to come on Monday only. Mentioned my misgivings to Marietta. To day morning I phoned to Dr M? on account of my back which isn’t better. I don’t feel it except when trying to do backward bendings but as I or me … (empty space) in gymn too I’m forgetting the fact it exists which again might lead to something worse. So I’m to see him next week and we’ll talk this short cure (?) procedure over. I’m afraid the man take me for a skinflint but I suppose it is much better than thinking I don’t care about throwing out money.