It is getting hot. My knee is hurting dreadfully and I think it is swollen. I’m afraid of “tetanus” not the nicest sort of death, if death is ever nice, and not the sweetest sort of feeling. I’m glad I went to conf. yesterday and made my about Vin. too before all this happened. It would be cowardly to go seeking (?) for pardon so late. Strange to think I might never see those places again. I daren’t think of my people. They have enough without things going wrong with me. I don’t think they would get over it. Must stop to think of this. If it happens it can’t be helped if not why think about it. Perhaps I ought to show the leg + knee or rather the bruises to Vin. but I simply can’t face it to have him to tell me. Anyway if it is what I thought of, it is too late as it is, if not + mustn’t make such a fuss about a little thing like this. So head up, one must always face problems alone. Only how tragic to leave just when at last I found someone I can love. Well I always liked adventures and it would be or it is the greatest adventure to explore the next world. ---

Have been at Martha’s place in the afternoon. It looks quite alright. The kids are running wild though and as dirty as possible. I think I like managing a shop.

A beautiful day again. Went to confession for a springcleaning. For Vin.’s sake mostly. As I had nothing on I went to play tennis. I hardly gave a stroke when I was on the ground. I believe it was the lace again on which I slipped + somehow these shoes are too big. The people told me I just continued last years as it was with a fall I finished my tennis season, this time I started with same. Didn’t take any notice of the fall, but later the bruises began to bleed so I had to have them looked after but continued to play in spite of it. My playing was bad enough. I don’t think I’ll be able to go this week, it is full up. My leg is rather stiff too and the wretched scratches hurt.

Meant to change the dark blue Hung. blouse + had the greatest shock when the woman said it wasn’t from her, she wasn’t at the Exhibition at all, etc. Eventually she had to see that the reverse was proved. The daring old creature. She may be sure I won’t be a good réclame for her. Took it to the dressmaker at once to have it taken in. Everything goes wrong today, was late for gymn too, but only May. the green, was in and she wasn’t practicing either. Emmy was absent + missed.

Such a beautiful day. Real spring. Rang up Vin. on account of my bad opinion on the value of the car he spoke of yesterday. I’ve heard it might be worth the amount + told him so. We had a lovely talk but all at once the line was broken, or rather we were disconnected. He rang me up however after a time to my greatest surprise. And pleasure. He is such a dear. I believe we could be very happy together if he’d make up his mind. Went to the cinema.

Weather beautiful at last. Managed to see Vin. at last a bit late though. Don’t know how to describe the "interview." Better to keep the veil on it I should think. I broke all my beautiful resolutions and feel desperate on that account. Partly. It’ll have to be stopped however. I believe it is only fair if I tell him what I think first and then to keep away if resolutions can’t be kept otherwise. I don’t care whatever happens any longer. I’ll be able to get on quite well on my own in future too.

Was late for Red Cross, feel most awkward at some of the bandging we should know well. The nurse is sweet. At first she praises the bandage I show, than points out the bad parts, at last one has the impression that the thing was done all wrong. I’m afraid that is not far from the truth. I had my new two piece on, everyone liked it. Bözsi had a lovely little knitted two piece on, her own work. She is clever.

Such a rain both on yesterday and today. I was feeling queer again yesterday at the Red Cross lecture, broken arms + legs don’t seem to suit me. Fortunately at the critical moment the nurse finished the lecture, so I could move about and it passed. Today I meant to go to Vin. but when I was already beautifully dressed down came a pouring rain which lasted for an hour so it was off. Late again for gymn. too, had to do in town. Business. Gymn. Quite alright, but a wild affair somehow.

Went to the dressmaker this afternoon. The blue blouse is sweet + the light blue frock is quite alright too. Mean to see Vin. this week. Am going to buy some blue silk for a pleated shirt to match my peasant blouse.

Went to see the Exhibition. Felt most queer + out of sorts, but later got a bit better. Still, the whole affair didn’t interest me much so I found it a bit dull. At the aviation part of it, just when I thought of going home I came across most unexpectedly Leon with a lady.

Wasn’t it a blow. Well it wasn’t exactly. For a moment I felt quite hurt that he didn’t notice me. The next moment I was in an awful hurry unless he should. I didn’t feel the least bit presentable at the time, being hot, cross and tired, with my hair all over the place as I nearly lost my hat twice and with a shiny nose and my bulging bag. Must have looked a sight. The very next thing I did was to powder my nose, push my hat to the right angle, to stuff bit of hair in place and button my coat. I had a frock on too which didn’t match exactly. I must have looked a sight. Would have been horrible to be caught like that. I still shudder. It quite took the sting out of the fact that I was overlooked and his being with someone else. He certainly looked most complacent and satisfied like a person who is perfectly in order without a single care and resigned to those he might have in spite of it. I am convinced at last of what I suspected time long that both of us can get on most satisfactorily apart. He is completely indifferent and I have no place in his life.

Meant to ring up Leon but didn’t. On the afterthought, it was him who promised to ring me up. Most shocking. The horrid fellow continues to forget his promises to me. I suppose I ought to feel awfully hurt etc. I don’t care the least on the other hand. Complete indifference. Meant to phone Vin too, as a matter of fact I did, but he wasn’t in, it was too late. Must try to make up.

Had to see Nora’s Dr, who was awaiting me impatiently. I was most amused, and received me with a hot embrace. I tried to feel amused, but felt slightly ridiculous + embarrassed.

Gymn much better tonight, we are getting used to altered conditions. Still nearly managed to spoil my favourite figure. Baba(?) backwards. One of the long missed ones arrived + to our greatest surprise ? too, our best jumper, for the second lesson.

In town again, had to go to Martha’s too, so I had to cut the Red Cross affair. Received a free ticket from Malert (?). For Dad as I am to go on Sunday. Spoke with Vin. on the phone. A most unsatisfactory talk too. I’m afraid I was worse than ever and seem to have drawn out the worse from him too. I’m afraid he has the idea that I mean to drop him, which is true in theory but unfortunately practice is unable to live up to it.