Had to do in town. Couldn’t get away from our lawyer or rather his wife who is an awful talker. Was at the dressmakers also and called at Marietta’s who was in theatre however. Was most amused, that so soon after her aunt’s death she should be going out when she never did beforehand. Had a little talk with her mother instead. Teri looked most clean, spick and span, and white like the icing on their pastry.

Nora seems to be slightly better since a few days, as if getting over her lethargy sometimes. – Gymn a sad affair. The place small + stuffy. No shower of bath of any sort. A little hole for dressing and no air to speak of. Had to speak with L. on business. He swore from right to left how unexpectedly tired he was on Sunday. I didn’t mention private affairs at all. He promised to ring me up on Saturday morning at eight an unearthly hour again. Hoping that I’d answer the ‘phone. I gave no definite promise, I don’t care any longer and am sure not take the trouble of dressing so early. I don’t care if I never see a man in my life I’m fed up with the lot of them. – Cica ‘phoned today her wedding is fixed at last. What am I to give her I wonder. Dad was at Martha, this morning the building is in progress. – I had a letter yesterday from Auntie posted at 12.30 a.m. May 2^nd. How lovely + fast.

Late again for the Red Cross affair. First experience of feeling faint on account of it. I saw some looking in my direction but I thought they were looking at the clock so didn’t feel selfconscious. Afterwards Mrs. M. (?) told me how pale I looked but I told her it was on account of the period which soothed her. – I’ve no idea how’ll manage in future, after all I can’t always tell the same tale.

There was a meeting at the Ass. for Foreign Affairs. A most interesting lecture was given. Otherwise it was dull enough.

Had a lovely time in the swimming bath all alone. One can see much more so. I gathered a vast experience. Couples behave as if they were all alone too. Most interesting. Went to the cemetery in the afternoon and tried to ring up Leon as I promised. Did so exactly three times, but it’ll never happen again. As I foresaw he wasn’t in. Really I do deserve this all but this is the limit. Anyway I find again that I always must count upon my own self only in everything. This time for this all happened only on account of Vin who doesn’t seem to care for me much I suppose I have to face this alone too. No help whatever from any other side. A good lesson however, not the first either, but I believe it won’t need to happen again. I don’t care for anyone two hoots any longer. It is lovely to be free again. No ties of any sort for me ever again. Simply won’t let myself be led by circumstances.

Last gymn. lesson in the old place. I’ll be moving next week. Promised Leon to ring him up on Sunday.

A harassed morning again. I was in three places only but it took a time. I kept poor Gyula waiting for nearly two hours. I thought he wouldn’t be there. Was late for the Dr too, what an interesting place. – Red Cross quite interesting + for a wonder I wasn’t late.

A lot to do in the office, people coming in one after the other, sometimes three at the same time. Really we ought to have two offices, one for waiting. Gizi ‘phoned too, asking about this evenings invitation to Martha’s. Told her to expect the worse on account of building begin in … . … (sic!) Was taken to town by Boust in his car, him being a very benign mood having managed to hit off more or less a large order. I’m wondering now about the other firm. Phoned Vin. at four. He was very busy, but wouldn’t let me ring off at once. Told him I couldn’t ring him up before he phoned me next as it was his turn. He seemed to find it disappointing. But I really must do something about it. I think I’ll stop caring about anyone, it is not worth the while. In future it will be hands off and arms length also. I don’t care any longer if that will mean a break either If that is all he wants, it is just as well, and the feelings of only a person are not worth a brass farthing. I can get along quite satisfactorily on my own, so I don’t care two hoots. – Most ridiculous but whenever I decided to cut adrift … …(sic) are made for the reverse. This evening too at Martha’s, she asked Anci if there was not a good position in the med. profession to be had at Sandor’s new place. Anci asked me all about it in the tram on our way home. It really would have seemed ungracious not to sound grateful though I told her I had no idea if Vin. would wish to leave his present place. I told her, once I said to M. that what was I to do with a young man of no means and that gave her the idea of asking Anci about the job, probably. Anci was most kind and told she would invite Vin. to her bridge parties. Good for Vin., but I haven’t the least wish of pulling him into any obvious and uncomfortable entanglements against his wish. And I’ve an idea that what he wants is a good time at present, more years of studying and travel but no cures of the matrimonial kind and he can have all for all that I care. I’m completely fed up with everything and wish I was at least three countries farther. If it can be managed I would certainly like to take part of that course in Genova. It is in August however so I wonder about the parents. The building is going on at Martha’s it’ll be quite alright I believe. The kids were sweet + dirty.

Had to do in town in the morning. Was up at the German Embassy on account of Nora. A funny little man received me and talked incessantly for at least 15 minutes. By the end of it I made him realize that I wasn’t and had no inertia to be a German as he supposed me of  being. It was good fun. The weather turned lovely for I had a marvellous walk. – At evening late for gymn. again on account of us all being at home except Mother. Too bad. But the gymn. hour was quite a good one.

Was mad enough to ring up Leon, fortunately he wasn’t in. Nearly took the voice of the person who answered the phone for his. On the afterthought wasn’t it? I don’t think so though it would have had no sense. Scores me right, anyway.

Late for the Red Cross course again came just after the Dr’s lecture which was a good one, they said, on sexual ailments.