Much the usual Sunday. Went to a late Mass, washed my hair, arranged a meeting with Martha at Marietta’s. Met her brother too, the darling. I mean he was a dear not to make me feel ridiculous when the car ran out of petrol the other day. Can’t forget how sympathetic he sounded and didn’t look amused at all, on the contrary seemed only too glad to help. We didn’t speak much but I told him so much anyway. Met the Cziráky’s too, funny, that they are never asked up. We went down to meet them. – By the way yesterday we took the little car in for oil change. Lieber an employee of one of the firms we are connected with came with me. We took some books to Müllers too the youngest wasn’t in. We made an appointment for Tuesday next.

This has been a most exciting day. I went to church early in the morning, got up about 5.40. Went to confession too. By the way had a driving exercise yesterday and promised to come to day again, but ‘phoned it off, but what I actually want to come to is, that I was at the Jesuitst and asked for Father Omer/Umer but he had Congregation. This morning again the Father I sometimes go to was away, so it was bad luck all along. Except for the evening sermon I attended yesterday on account of looking for Father Omer/Umer. – Well to come to the point my brother told me in the afternoon to buy out that nice little new car of our brother-in-law, and I thought one must simply jump at such a chance. So at first he came with me, to see if I can be relied on. Seems he was satisfied because he let me go alone. I got on quite well, I think. Later it became a problem if I should have my lesson or take the car on my own, Ervin didn’t want to go with it, it seems he found it too slow. So at last I phoned the driving exercise off and went off. Again it was quite alright, I didn’t exactly want to go to the Hauers but somehow I did and Feri (?) was just outside, so I showed him the car and went off in high glee. The thing wouldn’t start probably and I had doubts and then the unexpected happened it stopped altogether at a clear crossing by the National Theatre. I was non plussed and in a way amused. Of course people stopped to enjoy the sight. At last I gave it up and got out of the car looked around for help. It seemed I appealed to the chivalry of the men around, for they most kindly offered to push the car round the corner, the policeman was awfully nice too, didn’t say anything, as a matter of fact advised us to get round the corner. Naturally I went back in great speed to the Hauers and to their amused sympathy asked for petrol. Everyone was really most kind. They, the policeman, the people. None said a slighting word or a malicious remark. Nothing was wrong after that and I went about again, with headlights too. I enjoyed this day.

This morning I heared both from Margareth and Dr. Laki; I don’t know what am I coming to but I had quite a queer sort of feeling when I saw his letter. It is the silliest of things to let myself go like this when most probably I mean nothing at all to him. Why should I we hardly knew each other, most only a couple of times for a few minutes. And anyway he must be quite used to the sheep’s eyes hysterical women patients cast at him. I’m sure I don’t mean to be one of those. Don’t know really what on earth do I want of him. If I come to think of it everything is so hopeless in connection with the man. If I count on myself only. Anyway I do my part and leave the rest to Providence. Was driving today again. Had a long talk with Marietta this evening. Mr Hauer + she are going to Füred as dear Michael didn’t write. Nasty little chap. No, poor little dear. I hope it doesn’t mean he isn’t fit. – Bother all these men. I do wish I had one of my very own so as not to bother about the rest. Although I don’t know which is the more comfortable. To worry about many or about a simple one only. In latter case it might be a bit monotonous.

This afternoon I had to go in town early on business (Suppan) and passing one of those driving institutes I had a brain wave and went in to enquire. Result an immediate lesson. I got a quite well I think. Really it is a shame not to be able to drive when owning licence. I did feel ashamed at times, getting quite an inferiority complex on account of it. In future I intend to do a bit of driving. Had a long letter from Mother this afternoon. Apparently she would have been quite ready to let herself be operated on in Zagreb as there was a nice prof. in Rogaska who advised it. Good luck she hadn’t enough money. She finds R. dull, but Father seems to enjoy it. I do hope it will do them good.

Asked Iren to come in the afternoon. Went to a late mass being alone at home. In the afternoon we went to the cinema. it was quite nice. Weather quite cool today, a wind is blowing. Brother went off to Füred with Michael and co. Wonder about the poor boy. – By the way we signed that Testamental agreement or what on earth on 28^th. It was quite good fun. We were there punctually so of course had to wait quite 20 minutes before the lawyer + wife (witness) + Martha turned up. I hope it was alright.

Weather hot. We are head over heels in cleaning. The factory comes first and I’m doing the different wardrobes, desk etc. Up to now I’ve been attending to latter mostly and the desk gives a lot to do. What a lot of rubbish accumulates.

Our parents went off to ? Station this morning. We were at the station nearly an hour too early. Mr. Ku? came at about the same time, his son was with him. We became quite friends. The train was nearly empty mostly foreign waggons. 2^nd class was completely empty except for them and in 3^rd only a family was travelling. It is lonely at home without them. We have a lot to do though.

Such a surprise this morning. Had a letter from Gudrum in which he tells she is to be married on July 1^st. She was a really nice girl, Margareth in blonde, and I was most thrilled. It seems they are brave enough to risk all sorts of chances, for neither of them has a job yet. In a way it is quite a big risk but I suppose it is their own business and life is different in Norway. All my friends seem to be marrying. Really I must think about it too. I bought her a Pannonia lace handkerchief and sent it with a letter by airmail. There is a chance of her getting it in time. In which case I hope she’ll wear it. It all sounds so romantic. A wedding up in the North nearly at the most northern point of the continent from such an old church (1200) and in the country. It will be sort of a family-mass everyone’s affair. Wish I could see it. As she says Haldis is going up for the event I hope she’ll tell me all about it. –

We talked over this testament business with dear Michael as it is to be signed tomorrow. Funny to meet him the first time after all these week on that account. He looks quite alright and I’m afraid I don’t exactly like him. What is going to happen now. This is simply awful. As soon as I make up my mind about someone or am on the point of doing so another butts in. Now it is that dear country friend exDr of mine whom I prefer. Fortunately there isn’t much chance of meeting him, so it might pass. What am I to do. I’m afraid I won’t marry ever unless a man comes who will be stronger than all my misgivings and prejudices + who’ll be more fond of me than I of him. I’m afraid my exDr isn’t fit for the role. I’m quite at loss what to do – can’t do anything else, or better than to leave all to Providence. – Went to Mrs Árvá’s on account of Mothers dresses. – Today I don’t like anyone, I suppose it is indigestion. By the way, was at the Pálffy’s on Monday took the little Mina statuette there. It was rather late. They were quite affectionate, invited me to go to bath with them etc. Wonder if I can manage.

Nothing special happened last weekend, my dresses are finished at Ms Árva’s and I brought them home on Friday. Mother finished her visit to Prof. Burger, it seems they are not of any success an operation is advised. The man seemed to very nice and kind. I don’t know what will have to be done. – Went to conf. on Saturday, Father Omer (?) was most glad to see me, but I’m getting slightly tired of his way of looking at things. Can’t say though that the conf. wasn’t good. And the advantage is that he knows everything about me as he listened to my life conf. exactly two months ago. I’ll have to try another linc. with him. – Yesterday Martha + family were here. The kids were alright. In the afternoon we went over to the next house which was highly appreciated by them. – I’ve had misgivings on Saturday too on account of having sent off that letter to dr.  Laki (?). As I see a bit late tough, it is only a fortnight since he is away, too short of time for it. Undue enthusiasm on my part. I don’t want to seem to be running after the man, he is used to it too. How I hate the thought of it. Well I decided to forget all about it, and by the time an answer comes perhaps I’ll be off or will have definite plans for it. I’ll have to be more resolved in future. Impatience must cease.

I didn’t send that letter away yet, I mean, I didn’t post it so far. Wonder if it doesn’t trouble for me again. If so better to stop it early. Or rather ? it in the bud. I suppose I am going to post it after all am not leaving the outcome of my effort wasted, but promptly forget all about it and leave things at this. Let him make the next move. I suppose it would be better to go away for some time, abroad of course and forget all this. We have been to Prof. Burger’s Clinic this morning, and how terrible, we had to wait longer than an hour. The man is quite sympathetic. Whole tired. No wonder, he was after a serios operation. I don’t know if it is the heat or this morning’s excitement but I feel like anything. As weak as a fly in November would like to lie down and just laze and laze. It might be lack of exercise too. I feel much better after a good turn of gym lie last night’s.