I was dressed so early today that I couldn’t resist the temptation of ringing up Leo especially as I phoned him in vain yesterday. He was in, but only later, and a deaf. I promised to go to see their factory on Wednesday evening. Will have to ring him up after gymn. I’m not so sure if I’ll be going though, somehow it sounds so late, though he said he’d send the car to fetch me. Even then how much time will I have. Half an hour to have a look round, a few minutes to talk to him and then a rush home to be in time. Too bad. May be I’ll think it over.

Went for a walk and looked at shop windows only. It was cold. We had even snow. I’ve been thinking about that awful woman who visits us in the office lately with an article for the Eu. Congress. Or rather on account of it. It is settled though, for the time being, at least.

An awful day. Scenes, frayed nerves, tears etc. Everything I hate. I made a lovely scene myself to [empty space here in the diary] Mother out of the bedroom where she locked herself in. It worked splendidly. I nearly laughed though scenes do tire me. When Vin. phoned I was in too bad mood to enjoy it. He is to be on a retreat next week. I won’t see him for a time now. He said something I’ve been thinking of all the while. It was about my not seeing him next week. He said it wasn’t proper to meet ladies in that time and I nearly said it depended on the lady, but just kept it back. A good judgement on me from both of us. I’ll be jolly well see to it that he should find me the sort of lady one can meet on Good Friday too. He’ll have a little surprise yet. Time to make him respect me in thoughts too. Gymn slightly better this afternoon.

As the matter was of no importance to me I didn’t hurry the least to ‘phone to Leo with the result that he ‘phoned and asked for me. We arranged to meet at noon. I didn’t like it on the afterthought. Had a lot to attend to before so left trying on my new two piece for later and was punctual at the appointment. His car and driver were there. I waited for some time, was quite mad about his delay, after all what on earth was I there for. I had nothing to say to him and couldn’t think what he had to tell me worth waiting for. So leaving a note I left. Unfortunately I swung back the door of the car too energetically and the driver emerged from the building, it seems he kept an eye on me so I told him I wouldn’t wait, a pity as I intended to vanish into the thin air. This episode gave me an opportunity of trying my forces at last I contrived to leave, to stay away, not to ‘phone either then either afterwards. This will give me new force in future too. Though there’ll be one more trial for me I intend seeing his factory and I’m afraid it’ll give me an inferiority complex. Will have to remember the security of an undertaking of smaller dimensions. By the way, I received a box of chocs. in the afternoon with apologies. Outside showy, contents less so.

Though I decided to I couldn’t go to that course for guides to day. It is really too bad. It might have meant such a chance of meeting English people. My people are always good at spoiling chances for me, this time too they could only see that it meant my going off early to day and perhaps a whole week. Really I can’t understand them, it is really seldom we can see eye to eye. Though this time it was partly Ervin’s fault too as he said he had to go too on account of the machine he is altering. Of course he didn’t in the end, and told me I would go. Of course it was too late. I hate everything in a most wholehearted manner and wish I could be at least a thousand miles from here.

No sign from Vin. Too bad. He seems to get it badly every ten day or so. – Had to speak with Leo on business, asked me to see him next week. Told I’d ‘phone him early on Tuesday. Perhaps I will as I’m most curious to hear more about a thing he said concerning the orders in connection with the Euch. Cong. Gymn rather bad yesterday. Today I opened the glassware. Am very glad about it, it is lovely. Wonder with whom I going to use it.

Went to confession in the morning and had to do in town afterwards. Had a letter from Leo thanking my birthday wishes. He seemed to be most moved for which according to my opinion I gave no reason.

A letter from Ernő telling about my glass set. Or rather sets, and one from the Administration of the Euch. Cong. telling about a course for guides next week. It is most awkward. At an unearthly hour.

Yesterday Vin. ‘phoned to tell that Mr. Kun left the Clinic. We arranged to go together to an auction. I went to fetch him from the Clinic, was a bit late but that didn’t prevent him from staying longer than usually. Again I can’t describe it by anything less than love making. I can’t understand myself. It is getting more and more difficult to stop it. If only he’d have a decent salary. I believe I’m quite ridiculously fond of him. So old fashionedly in love that I think if it harms him. I’ll stop seeing the darling. It gave me quite a stab in the heart in the end when he called out in such agonising way and buried his face on my shoulder. The left to be exact. Won’t forget that episode easily. That exactly I should do exactly him any harm. If ever I’ll be in such tête á tête with him again, he’ll have to be kept at arms length for his own sake. The auction was quite interesting. He bought a rug and a piece of pottery he is so fond of. We went away together, he took a taxi and took me to Margareth’s. We stopped on the way as I had some business to attend to. We didn’t arrange anything for the future. – At Margareth’s, her Mother was there. The baby was a darling, seemed to like me. We had a good chat. Her Mother left quite late, I stayed a bit longer and we exchanged confidences. Some, at least. Was rather late in coming home especially as I had to wait a long time for the bus. A strange afternoon, altogether.

Went to confession again, though didn’t feel much like it. When do I, though? Spoke with the Farkasvölgyis on the phone, they arranged to go with Ervin in the country. Martha + kids here. Gyula looks a bit off colour. The kids quite nice and not such handful like they used to be. Somehow it is easier with them now that they are bigger and can be left alone. Though they’re up to something every moment still. Feri bácsi sent tickets for this afternoon’s concert in the Conservatory, so we went with Martha. It was a good performance (Händel Saul Oratory) and Vali sang really well. Saul (Fodor) was good too and all the others. Afterwards Ervin came with the rest of Martha’s family to fetch her, they took Jolán néni too. Ervin told me to look for the Farkasvölgyi couple in an Icecream Parlour on the Andrássy ut. Looked in three places but didn’t find them. There I saw a car which look like theirs on the other side of the road, it turned out eventually to be theirs. Risked it and went there. We had a nice chat. Kato is quite sweet. Her husband nice too. Hi is … …. (sic!) a bit as I was told he was owing to a motorbike accident. I believe we’ll have a nice time in the summer. At least I hope so. The men went to bring us ices. We sat, ate, smoked and chatted there till half past nine. Quite enjoyed it. They’d be a fitting company for Vin. too, so if I’ll be asked I’ll ask him to come, if I’ll be let to and he won’t have something on. We’ll see.

This week passed in a whirl.

Monday, like usual, aviation most interesting our names were put down for the free flight.
Tuesday, morning in town, evening, aviat gymn. I don’t know how it was, but I couldn’t do a single exercise properly. Our class was put on to Wednesday.

Wednesday, late for gymn, something better than on former day, but still not too good.

Thursday. In town again. Went to a tailor for ladies to have my new two piece made. I hope it’ll be alright. – Funny little man surely a jew. First fitting on Wednesday next. Av. in the evening. Majoros speaking  and the lecturer on law. I like this Majoros, though he can’t be so very young. Thickest, solid sort of a man, cool and quiet, somehow restful and to be trusted. Inspires confidence. This time his way of speaking was much better, louder + clearer. He has a quite sort of a sense of humour. Most sympathetic.

Friday. The morning wasn’t free, we were working. Was late for the last mass. Father + I went to a neighbouring town. Mr. Kun is ill and in the Herzog Clinic. Funny. – Went to the cinema (Gloria – Kalózkisasszony) in the afternoon. Wanted to have a walk but it was pouring. Went to see the Tennis Club after mass. It’s imposing. One can play if one is mad though in this weather. It is cold and windy.

Mrs. Hisley (???) nearly persuaded me to go in the afternoon. Fortunately weather was bad. I’m the 11^th on the ten. list. Rather bad, but my playing was worse I believe. Will have to do a bit of practice this year. Though how’ll I manages with the fee now that I’m sawing and am having my dresses made is a mystery to me. Must manage somehow. –

Made a mistake. On Thurs Wednesday. I went to see our neighbor Capt. Takács in his office, had to go twice as on first occasion he was out. (Or in?). On account of Nora. He phoned to a friend of his to the Office for Foreigners. On Thursday I went to that place. The man was nice but of course not so helpful as one’s own friend. He was a great help though in the end when I was impersistent enough to ask him to make them rush my case. He was a dear and I didn’t thank him properly, but thought it wiser not to disturb him in his room on leaving, he looked so busy. I liked his eyes.

Saturday, we went to the ladies’ tailor, not on the other day. We didn’t go to see Mr. K[un] though Father said he would so I phoned to Vin. (I rang him up I think on Tuesday too, on account of someone asking for me when being out. A mistake.) He was a darling like usually. But I had an awfully depressed mood afterwards. Haven’t an idea why. The weather was bad too, I nearly stayed at home, nearly cut gymn. Would have been a mistake as it was a lovely class and the second one too. We stayed for it with Emmy. Strange, when I fell all down and as if not fit for anything, and concentrate on gymn trying to forget it all, I can work so well as the mood passes with the success and achievent.