As a consequence of yesterday’s desolate atmosphere I had a rather restless night and a nasty little dream in the morning about a bridal bouquet with our myrtle greens in it. If I would be the least bit superstitious I would be certain that this afternoon either poor Michael or myself will pass away. I don’t think the world would lose much with me anyway. Sometime ago I had a vivid dream of coming home in an open taxi, after cutting open a stratosphere balloon’s wrappings, having the bell ring and who should be there but Death strangely enough in disguise of a big black stocking doll, coming to fetch one of us. Mother came out too and offered to go but I most valiantly stepped in between and said no you stay here Father still needs you and asked two or three times mor if he, Death, was sure it was the will of God that I should go which rather peevishly he affirmed. I believe I had a short delay granted. Or sthing of the sort. All these after affects of previous films like the burning of the Polish Stratosphere Balloon and the other piece in the National Theatre. Still it was such a vivid dream that I had quite a throbbing heart and quite serious difficulties in affirming that I would less valiantly than in the dream still submit. I’m not such a hero it seems after all, though sometimes I think it is natural, as the soul might be strong but the flesh weak. Death is against human nature so the body resists instinctively. – Apparently poor older Hauer knows how serious things are with Michael and is prepared for the thought of losing him, young. But as he thinks, the others know nothing of it, so he tries to be strong. Poor old man, to see the most beloved of his children in such state. They on their own think we know nothing of how serious it was with the boy. It is really most heartrending. Should it  definitely come to such serious results I believe I know where my duty would come in. Poor dear little Michael, just when I began to know him better. – I went to se a French film after having been reassured again as to the state of the boy by Ervin who went to see him. The film was quite interesting as an experience, but the most dull I ever saw or can see from point of view of amusement. Serves me right.