Went to see Margareth this afternoon. The kids are sweet, she is getting on quite well as a mistress of her house. We had quite a talk. If it comes to it things sound quite different when they are talked about than when only thought of. Told her how I’ve been let down and how I mean to let down…

We meant to meet after gymn with Leon yesterday but it didn’t come off. Been to cinema to day.  Picture quite alright. Been to Marietta last week but intend going on Thursday again it’s being her name day. Had an awful row at home last week owing to my delicate suggestion of marrying my dear friend…

Still can’t get over after effects of shock of previous day. Can’t say I had a sleepless night but certainly found soliloquy at 3 a.m. most uncomfortable. But as I’m alone to blame, and nothing happens by chance, and if it is, and as it is the will of God it must be for the best and it is for the…

Today must be called ones of the darkest ones in the history of my (un?)eventful life. Much deserved punishment, revelation of own lack of psychological instinct, proof of right of conservative principles lately slightly neglected, etc. Would like to give myself a good moral kick. Well I deserve…

Another disagreement with dear Leon. Think of putting an end to all, but never really manage to. Lack of moral courage or the real i.e. great feeling I wonder. – Lecture in the Külügyi Társ., Mr Eöttevényi. Spoke about the North Hungary problem, or rather it’s past + present + future prospects. Met…