August 1st

This morning I rang up Leon partly on business, but somehow the line wasn’t in order he couldn’t hear my voice properly and I didn’t want to shout so I rang off. At about 11.30 Dr. Kerekes phoned that Nora’s condition was so on the decline that is was necessary that we come to see her or if we wished to remove her. We went there with Mother, who is behaving herself really bravely, though she did say some biting things to the nuns there. Strangely enough they resented it though they should know the feelings of people in such circumstances and anyway they should take things weekly. We took Nora home, the Dr wasn’t there. Now comes the greatest disillusionment of my young life. I rang up Vin. frankly with grief for her + my people, not knowing what to do, the Dr. not having given any instructions, and told him my sister was dying and would he come + tell us what to do to make things easier. We didn’t even know if we could give her water or (empty place). I told him we wanted to talk to him on account of my parents too. What he said was that if things were so far better to leave it to the Dr whos hands she was it was not good for another to mix in such things. In such cases they were even in the right of giving notice of it at the Dr’s Association (or what is it’s name). Anyhow I saw at once he wasn’t the man for us, so I told him I was extremely sorry to have bought him into such disagreeable situation. We talked a little after that I don’t know now if he said he was operated on by Dr Farkas or his Father. In former case I daren’t even think seriously of what suspect of him. A thoroughly rotten person of whom the sooner I get rid off the better. Then I rang off abruptly. I believe I couldn’t even look at the man again.

After a lot of phoning I managed to talk with Dr Kerekes. What we did seems to have been more or less right. Later he came to see her, Martha was there too. Poor Nora was breathing heavily. Then I asked Father László to come. He tried to talk to her, but she was unconscious, or he talked to us instead, we needed it badly especially Mother, who still didn’t believe Nora was dying. At 8.30 the Dr rang us up to ask about the condition of Nora, but there was no change. We moved her to another bed. We tried to have supper. At 9 p.m, exactly after I was preying fervently that she might not suffer much now that it was all over and that our parents would be spared the (empty space) of it Mother came and asked me to come and see Nora as she thought se was dead. She departed so easily that it wasn’t even noticed, hear breath stopped. Erzsi was still there, so we moved her to my bed, where she remained until she was taken away. It was all so sudden and unexpected, that our feelings were quite benumbed and we didn’t cry, much. We were all so glad that at least she died at home in her old surroundings and that she could see us for the last time. I believe she knew us, though she couldn’t speak, but there was an infinitely sad look in her eyes. So it was all over. Ervin came in just afterwards he went to the Árva’s, his friends in the cemetery at once, to tell them about it.