Had to do in town again and took the “espresso” to Cica at the same time. Didn’t expect to go in, but they were just home from the registrar’s office + there was some company. Was invited to go in. Met the two best men also. The young couple was awfully happy naturally. Jancsi doesn’t look at all well though, he is pale and thin. – At the actual wedding I was naturally a bit late. Couldn’t see anything so wandered round the church till I met Marcsi who most kindly offered her place for a look round and Vin. who was looking on most attentively. We went to send a wire to the young couple afterwards. After a little walk we arrived back nearly to the same place. I had no idea what he meant when he suggested going on in the direction of the Clinics. We spent an hour together. I can’t exactly describe my feelings which were rather mixed. I was thrilled, frightened, amused, curious + ashamed at the same time. I thought I arrived to the bottom of all possible experiences the last time, but I was mistaken and I have an idea that there are still some left. At the end I felt he would hate me for all of it just I thought I could never look at him again instead of which we nearly started the whole affair afresh only we had no time. I was convinced at the moment that he would never marry me and if he would it would be only the worse for me. That will be the punishment perhaps. One must always pay for everything. I don’t want him to be found at fault, however, so first I’ll try making amends for all and I think it is my duty to give things another turn as it is my fault thing went so far. If I don’t succeed I’ll have to give up seeing him, for a time at least. Go away if possible. The farther the better. – My cold is rapidly returning it is my fault, didn’t take care at bathing.