As I’m afraid yesterday’s fiasco was mainly my fault I rang up Leon this morning. The nasty creature told me to ring off and he would call me in a minute. The “minute” took a long time to pass. So I called him again in the afternoon just before going out but he was busy and wasn’t free in the evening either as he told me. I don’t care. If only times weren’t so serious and I wouldn’t be so anxious about his welfare in the next world – doesn’t it sound morbid wouldn’t care two farthings or more a little finger in his own favour. Still I’m afraid soon I’ll think everyone should take care about the state of her or his own soul. – Our lawyer told us this morning too, that poor Nora’s husband, for whom I have no expression in my dictionary claims her part of next (?) house if debts do not reach it’s value. I believe our lawyer is not too clever. He managed the whole affair from the very beginning badly. – Bözsi was absent again at cooking, I was too late naturally. We finished quite early this time. The big cake was nice.  

Had a long talk after mass with Leon according to which we made a rather ambiguous appointment which naturally didn’t come off. I was about 40 minutes late so I’m not sure if it was not my fault he might have had the same of waiting, if it mattered him, however. It quite spoilt my evening and even disturbed my night. Reason of latter might have been late and large meal, though. Anyway it is too bad. The kids were alright, little Ervin better but I had a fright when I saw a car signed as a Dr’s near their house. Thought he might be worse. They are noisy those kids. I wish I could take little Ervin somewhere, I believe he needs a change of air a good feeding up and loving care. I’m afraid I am in bed need of all these too. Except the last perhaps. I might do without any caring, as a matter of fact I would feel tons better if I could get rid of everything for a time at least. That man, Leon, gets on my nerves too.

Had to go out and buy some toys for the kids as it is little Ervin’s birthday tomorrow. It was pouring. We both forgot that Leon had an appointment for the evening and I rang him up. How entirely unsatisfactory. I was nearly blown away with ‘phonecell when I opened it’s door. There was a terrible wind. Bought a pair of new black gloves. How extravagant.

We had an appointment with Leon at the same place as last. He was unusually punctual. It was quite alright. We were sitting at the banks of the river and had a most informal party. Had a little chat over a few moral and religious questions what we didn’t exactly agree. How could we. It is nearly hopeless. I wonder if it wouldn’t be wiser to give it all up at once. Hard enough as it is. Waiting might make it only worse. Though the thing might wear off with use. Disgraceful of me to be much a silly fool.

Went to the Hauers on account of the will the parents intend making. Listened to Mihály’s (?) good advice on it. Had a long talk with Marietta afterwards.

This morning Leon rang me up we made an appointment for the evening which I couldn’t keep however as cooking took ages. I rang him up at night and we had an awfully long talk. At noon I spoke with Vin. on the phone, on account of Mother who wasn’t mind seeing him. He is exactly the same, talks for ages, mostly about himself. I assisted. Naturally I’ll let him do further moves. He is completely indifferent to me I find.

Nasty weather today. Had another talk on the phone with Leon last night. This morning he rang me up. In the evening I meant to go to cinema, but talked it over with him. Sheer madness and even more. It must be definitely stopped especially as he thinks that marriage is a great ….. (empty space) In this he is right though and I feel tons lighter. It is a disgrace however. Besides he didn’t tell me the truth, he said he couldn’t go to cinema as he had an appointment on the phone, which wasn’t true.

On account of Jewish holidays our Monday cooking had to be postponed. Leon is away for Monday too. Holidays I suppose. People are dreadfully upset. Houses are being prepared for air raids, cellars are being built. Gas mask can’t be found. Sugar, lard, coffee etc. is being bought in great quantities. If it comes to the worst we’ll have to face it bravely. No use getting excited. It is sad but one must die once anyway. Death isn’t the worth that is the trouble. Being blind or losing a limb or anything of the sort is much worse. There is some hope though today as the four Chamberlain, Daladier, Mussolini + Hitler are to do a bit of consulting together tonight. Cooking is interesting, but the girls are upset. Silly of them. The spinach roll, made with ham was fine. Wanted to speak with Leon this afternoon but he was out.