I was mad to believe I ever meant anything to that man. I suppose I should be glad that I don’t. Of course he didn’t ring me up. Someone ‘phoned at ten when I was out, I thought it might have been him. To make sure I rang him up. He was busy at the time. No he knew he should have ‘phoned me it was among the notes. So that is that. I hate him + everyone myself included. I was mad ever to have thought of him. All this I deserve. If someone is mad enough to let herself be hurt it serves her right if they make use of it. What should I do now is to put him out of my mind altogether. Not only not to ring him up ever again but to refuse to get in touch with him in any way if ever he should make advances again. I must resolve + I will be strong. But how can I do it.

Went to the H. Clinic in the worst mood possible. I think I could have cried there and then if I wouldn’t have been afraid of a red nose, and explanations. Vince was a dear like he used to be. Tried to make me sociable with little success. Little did he guess I’m sure that while I tried to smile + talk nothing was farther in my thoughts than he and everything that was actually around me. He made excuses for never coming near us which was really quite unnecessary. I don’t care for him any longer. And I won’t let myself be hurt by anyone in future. I wish I was a thousand miles from here. I daren’t say I wish I was dead, It might be worse.

- The gym class was simply lovely. There were only the two of us, Marika + I. It was so exhilirating [exhilarating]. I learnt to make sommersaults [somersaults]. (At my reverut age, who’d think it, I must be truly mad some would say). I think next time I feel upset about anything, especially men, I’ll try a sommersault or two and stand on my hands. Nothing like seeing things upside down, when they get complicated. Knocks them in their own shape, I suppose.