Was at the Cong. this morning and hoped to see Marietta. As she wasn’t there had a sort of a tight feeling that something must be wrong. So after various side tracks, going on a wild goose chase after Cica for instance etc. I called at the Hauers only to hear that my M. (?) presumptive was near to dying since Tuesday evening. It seems he continued to get heart weakness also, probably on account of too many and, or, too strong injections. I was quite upset as he seemed to be in much good health and altogether the finest of all my acquaintances. Can’t forget how he looked at me with that nice smile of his last week when we met last. Simply can’t get over it. Dreadful too to have found such a completely satisfactory person from every point of view and to lose him at the same time. Or nearly at the same time. Although, of course, I can’t speak of losing someone who didn’t really belong. But somehow I can’t help thinking he was on the way to. I wonder also what our Lord can mean with it. Wasn’t he meant for me Does this mean that perhaps. Or is it again because when I seemed to get near what I wanted I didn’t seem so keen, but was on the look out for other plans. Must make amends and have it out with myself and the Lord and keep to it under all conditions. Now everything depends on how will he get on, for even if recovering he might not be fit for marriage. Poor boy. I believe he is the most innocent one of all my friends, or rather the only such. I hope all will be well yet.