Father’s nameday. He received a backet [bucket]  of flowers from Erzsi, who continues to believe that a backet makes all the difference. Of course Mother was furious about the basket again like usually, but it doesn’t seem to help. Erzsi forgets it by the next time. Ervin brought flowers too. Very nice ones. I felt quite a little miser with my cigarettes. Will have to make up somehow. Seem to be getting into a rut and the good old habit of thinking too much about my own remarkable person. How disillusioning. – The tense atmosphere is lifting between Mother + me, anyway I couldn’t go to see the womenDr again, which doesn’t mean that I’m not going to next week, because Ervin went to see the Motor Car Exhibition, partly on account of my indisposition. Sounds funny, not seeing a Dr on that account. –

I had a wild idea of phoning to Vin. simply couldn’t stand the silence, but it was against my good resolutions.

I had a brainwave and asked my particular patron’s help and intervention. Asked him to let me have it as a sign that the favour I asked for would be fulfilled, that the man to whom I’d belong should give a sign of life, or rather’d wish to speak with me. It might have been another quite so easily but Vin. rang me up most unexpectedly and even more unexpectedly fixed up a meeting. Well, I might just as well own that I wanted him to be the “sign” so it is the case ever since I know him. At least most of the time. All except the “strange interlude”. I only wish he’d not have made the remark he was a confirmed bachelor, which is quite silly because he had no time to develop to that so far. Anyway he won’t have the chance now, if I can help it and my particular-friend from the next world will help me. Poor boy, can he have a chance! And why should he, no one could be fonder of him than I am or could understand him more. – Of course some people would laugh at my attitude of taking things in this way in this modern and cynical age of ours, but I simple refuse to do as St Joseph helped me in other quite helpless cases too and this is the most serious one in one’s life. I trust him implicitly and unconditionally. And anyway I’ve never loved a man really before. Not even my Jewish friend or else I’d have married him, I’m not narrow minded. True that Vin. might have someone better and richer with people who could help him in his career by their influence, but he isn’t the sort who’d think this the most important, he isn’t narrow minded either and anyway I might have made far better matches too, financially, heaps of times. – Now who dares to blame our age of lack of romance, illusions and unselfishness. – We went to cinema after my gymn lesson. He was rude enough to applaud when Hitler appeared on the screen of which I was heavily and openly disapproved. The film wasn’t much worth but we enjoyed ourselves.